Dumb Jokes — most viewed jokes

What did the blonde do when she heard that 90% of accidents occur around the home?
→ She moved.

Your momma so stupid that when she goes on wheel of fortune she buys a seven!

Some men in a pickup truck drove to a lumber yard.

One of the men walked into the office and said, "We need some four-by-twos."

The clerk asked, "You mean two-by-fours, don't you?"

The man said, "I'll go check," and went back to the truck.

He returned shortly and said, "Yeah, I meant two-by-four."

"All right. How long do you need them?"

The customer paused for a moment and said, "I'd better go check."

After a while, he returned to the office and said, "A long time. We're gonna build a house..."

Santa Claus, one smart and one stupid policeman are walking together when they spotted hundred dollars on the ground. Who will take the money?
→ Stupid policeman, since Santa Claus and the smart policeman don't exist.

Duayne met Patricia Ann from Birmingham at a Tus-caloosa ballroom.

They danced every dance together. When the evening was over, he asked if he could see her next time he was in town.

"Yes," replied Patricia Ann shyly.

The young man hurriedly took out his pad and pencil and asked, "What's your number?"

"CApitol 4-6173."

After a long embarrassed pause, Duayne asked, "How do yew make a capital 4?"

What do stupid kids do at Halloween?
→ They carve a face on an apple and go bobbing for pumpkins.

Did you hear about the village idiot buying bird seed?
He said he wanted to grow some birds.

• We know that you would give your life for us. Promise!
• When you pass away and people ask me what the cause of your death was, I'll say it was your stupidity.
• Well, I'll see you in my dreams -- if I eat too much.
• Hey, I remember you when you had only one stomach.
• Anyone who told you to be yourself couldn't have given you worse advice.
• Let's play horse. I'll be the front end and you be yourself.
• I'll never forget the first time we met -- although, I'll keep trying.
• You are not the worst person in the world, but until one worse comes along, you'll do.
• If I were as ugly as you are, I wouldn't say hello, I'd say boo!
• I feel sorry for you because you are so homely, but I feel even sorrier for other people because they have to look at you.
• Yours is a prima facie case of ugliness. And your body is ugly, too.
• I know one should judge a man by what he really is instead of by appearances, but you are REALLY ugly.

One idiot said to the other, "You know, there are really only three kinds of people in the world: those who can count, and those who can't."

What kind of meat do you give a stupid dog?
→ Chump chops!