Dumb Jokes — most viewed jokes

How does a blonde commit suicide?
→ She gathers her clothes into a pile and jumps off.

Why did the Polish couple decide to have only 4 children?
→ They'd read in the newspaper that one out of every five babies born in the world today is Chinese.

• At least you are not obnoxious like so many other people -- you are obnoxious in a different and worse way!
• You have a lot of well-wishers. They would all like to throw you down one.
• You remind me of Moses. Every time you open your mouth, the bull rushes.
• They say that travel broadens oneself. You must have been around the world. Look through your towels and tell us the name of the hotel you stayed at in Detroit.
• You always have your ear to the ground. So how's life in the gutter?
• Heard your family went to a restaurant where they serve crabs just so they could bring you along.
• Before you came along we were hungry. Now we are fed up.
• You are pretty as a picture and we'd love to hang you.
• You will never be able to live down to your reputation!
• Any friend of yours -- is a friend of yours.
• Someone said that you are not fit to sleep with pigs. I stuck up for the pigs.

Two guys were in a bar, and they were both watching the television when the news came on.
It showed a guy on a bridge who was about to jump, obviously suicidal. "I'll bet you $10 he'll jump," said the first guy. "Bet you $10 he won't," said the second guy.

Then, the guy on the television closed his eyes and threw himself off the bridge. The second guy hands the first guy the money.

"I can't take your money," said the first guy. "I cheated you. The same story was on the five o'clock news." "No, no. Take it," said the second guy. "I saw the five o'clock news too. I just didn't think the guy was dumb enough to jump again!"

What has eight arms and an I.Q. of 60?
→ Four guys watching a football game.

Did you hear about the gay Polak?

He slept with women.

- Teacher: Jeff, have you been copying Johnny's test again?

- Jeff: Yes, but how did you know?

- Teacher: On question #1, Johnny put down "I don't know". And you put down "Me neither".

What do you call an eternity?
→ Four blondes in four cars at a four way stop.

Why do blondes have TGIF written on their shoes?
→ Toes Go In First

Three blondes were driving to Disneyland. After being in the car for four hours, they saw a sign that said "Disneyland left." So they turned around and went home.

What do smart blondes and UFOs have in common?
→ You always hear about them but never see them.

What did the blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios?
→ Oh, look, Daddy....doughnut seeds!

Why did the blonde stare at the can of frozen orange juice?
→ Because it said concentrate.

Why do blondes always smile during lightning storms?
→ They think their picture is being taken.

How can you tell when a blonde sends you a fax?
→ It has a stamp on it.

Why can't blondes dial 911?
→ They can't find the 11 on the phone.

What do you do if a blonde throws a pin at you?
→ Run, she's got a grenade in her mouth!

How can you tell if a blonde's been using your computer?
→ There is white-out all over the monitor.

Why shouldn't blondes have coffee breaks?
→ It takes too long to retrain them.

A blonde and a brunnette were walking outside when the brunnette said, "Oh, look at the dead bird." The blonde looked skyward and said, "Where? Where?"

How do you drown a blonde?
→ Put a scratch and sniff sticker on the bottom of a pool.

Why does it take longer to build a blonde snowman than a regular one?
→ You have to hollow out the head.

How do you get a twinkle in a blonde's eye?
→ Shine a flashlight in her ear.

Hear about the blonde who got an AM radio?
→ Took her a month to figure out she could play it at night.

What happened to the blonde Ice Hockey team?
→ They drowned during spring training.

What did the blonde say when she saw the sign in front of the YMCA?
→ "Duh! Look! They spelled Macy's wrong!"

How do you make a blonde laugh on Saturday?
→ Tell her a joke on Tuesday.

Why are blonde's boobs always square?
→ Because they forget to take the kleenex out of the box.

A Polak was jumped by two muggers and fought like hell, but was finally subdued.

His attackers then proceeded to go through his pockets. "You mean you fought like that for 57 cents?" asked one of the muggers incredulously.

"Is that all you wanted?" moaned the Pole. "I thought you were after the $400 in my shoe!"

Your mom is so stupid she tried to wake up a sleeping bag.