Random joke from this category
After an accident, a woman stepped forward and prepared to help the victim. She was asked to step aside by a man who announced, "Step back please! I've had a course in first aid and I'm trained in CPR."
The woman watched his procedures for a few moments, then tapped him on the shoulder.
"When you get to the part about calling a doctor," she said, "I'm already here!"
A woman has just started to play golf when she gets stung on the arm by a bee. She rushes back to the clubhouse, hoping to find a doctor. She asks, "Is anyone here a doctor."
One guy, who was pretty drunk, stands up and says, "I'm a doctor, what can I help you with?"
- I've been stung by a bee.
- Oh really, where?
- Between the first and second hole
- Well, first of all, your stance is too wide...
- Doctor, is there anything worse than being old and bent?
- Yes there is - being young and broke.
- Doctor, ya gotta help me. Every time I sneeze, I have an orgasm.
- Really! What are you taking for it?
- (with a grin) Black pepper!
- Doctor, I have a problem. I feel unhealthy and depressed.
- You should cut down on drinks.
- I don't touch a drop.
- You should cut down on smoking.
- I don't smoke.
- You should stop taking drugs.
- I don't do drugs.
- You should cut down on womanizing.
- Haven't touched a woman in my life.
- In that case, get yourself a drink, learn to smoke, do some drugs, and find a couple of girlfriends!
- Doctor, you've gotta help me. I eat apples, apples later come out into the toilet. I eat bananas, bananas come out.
- That's easy. Eat shit!
Did you hear about the doctor who had his license taken away because he was having affairs with his patients?
→ Yup, it's a shame because he was one of the top veterinarians in the country!
How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?
→ "How long have you been having this phantasy?"
- Tell me, doctor. Is it serious?
- Well, I wouldn't advise you to start watching any serials on TV.
An old man goes to the doctor. The doctor asks for stool, urine, blood, and semen samples. The old man can't believe it. He takes all his little sample jars and goes home.
At home, he tells his wife that the doctor wants stool, urine, blood, and semen samples.
The wife looks aghast and then realisation spreads like the dawn across her wrinkled facial features. "That's easy," she says, relief obvious in her voice. "All he wants is your pajama pants!"
