Doctor Jokes — most viewed jokes

- Patient: Doctor, I keep thinking I'm a dustbin.

- Psychiatrist: Don't talk such rubbish!

- Did you take the patient's temperature?

- No. Is it missing?

A wife went in to see a therapist and said, "I've got a big problem, doctor."
"Every time we're in bed and my husband climaxes, he lets out this earsplitting yell."
"My dear," the doctor said, "that's completely natural. I don't see what the problem is."
"The problem is," she complained, "it wakes me up!"

What do you call a depressed dentist?
→ A little down in the mouth.

- My hair keeps falling out. What can you give me to keep it in?

- A shoebox?

A Soviet emigre woman comes to a gynecologist and complains: "Doctor, when I wasn't married, I had six abortions, and now I got married and can't get pregnant."

"Well" said the doctor, "It's possible you don't breed in captivity!"

What do you call a geriatric gynecologist?
→ A spreader of old wives' tales!

- Doctor, Doctor I keep thinking I'm a nit

- Will you get out of my hair!

- Patient: Doctor, I keep thinking I'm invisible.

- Psychiatrist: What!...who said that?

A well known rich businessman's wife broke her hip. The businessman got the best bone surgeon in town to do the operation. The operation consisted of lining up the broken hip and putting in a screw to secure it. The operation went fine, and the doctor sent the business man a fee for his services of $5000.

The businessman was outraged at the cost, and sent the doctor a letter demanding an itemized list of the costs. The doctor sent back a list with two things:

• 1 screw $1
• Knowing how to put it in $4999
• $5000 total

The businessman never argued.