Doctor Jokes — most viewed jokes

How many nurses does it take to screw in a light bulb?
→ None - They just have a nursing assistant do it.

The nurse who can smile when things go wrong is probably going off duty.

A Polak was suffering from constipation, so his doctor prescribed suppositiories. A week later the Pole complained to the doctor that they didn't produce the desired results.

"Have you been taking them regulary?" the doctor asked.

"What do you think I've been doing," the Pole said, "Shoving them up my ass?"

An elderly lady goes into the doctor and tells him - "Doctor, I don't know what the problem is, but I've been farting all the time. It's not really a problem socially because they don't make any noise and don't smell. I just can't stop farting all the time. In fact while I've been in here I must have farted at least 20 times."

The doctor nods and gives her some pills. "Here take these for two weeks and come see me again when you are done."

So she takes the pills and returns two weeks later as instructed. Infuriated, she confronted the doctor. "What kind of medicine is this? I'm still farting just as much? They still don't make any noise, but now they stink terribly!"

The doctor nodded, "It's alright, now that we have your sinus' cleared up, we'll work on your hearing next!"

How many Obsessive-Compulsive P.D. does it take to change a lightbulb?
→ Just one. But he has to check it 100 times, one for each watt.

A guy goes in to see a psychologist. He says, "It seems I can't make any friends. Can you help me, you fat slob?"

Why did the nurse keep the bedpan in the refrigerator?
→ Because when she kept it in the freezer it took too much skin off.

- Doctor, Doctor I keep seeing an insect spinning around.

- Don't worry, it's just a bug that's going around!

A strained voice called out through the darkened theater, "Please, is there a doctor in the house?!"

Several men stood up as the lights came on.

An older lady pulled her daughter to stand next to her, "Good, are any of you doctors single and interested in a date with a good, Jewish girl?"

- Doctor, Doctor my hair keeps falling out, can you give me anything to keep it in?

- Yes, here is a paper bag!