Don't Say This During Surgery

Things you don't want to hear during surgery:

- Better save that. We'll need it for the autopsy.

- "Accept this sacrifice, O Great Lord of Darkness."

- Bo! Bo! Come back with that. Bad dog!

- Wait a minute, if this is his spleen, then what's that?

- Hand me that... uh... that uh... that thingy there.

- Oh no! Where's my Rolex.

- Oops!

- Hey, has anyone ever survived from 500 ml of this stuff before?

- There go the lights again?

- "Ya know, there's big money in kidneys? and this guy's got two of 'em."

- Everybody stand back! I lost my contact lens!

- Could you stop that thing from beating, it's throwing off my concentration.

- What's this doing here? I hate it when they're missing stuff in here.

- That's cool. Now can you make his leg twitch by pressing that one?!

- Well folks, this will be an experiment for all of us.

- Sterile schmerile. The floor's clean, right?

- OK, now take a picture from this angle. This is truly a freak of nature.

- This patient has already had some kids, am I correct?

- Nurse, did this patient sign an organ donation card?

- Don't worry. I think it is sharp enough.

- What do you mean "You want a divorce?!?"

- FIRE! FIRE! Everyone get out!

- Oh no! Page 47 of the manual is missing!