Random joke from this category
A doctor is talking to a car mechanic, "Your fee is several times more per hour then we get paid for medical care."
"Yeah, but you see, doc, you have always the same model, it hasn't changed since Adam; but we have to keep up to date with new models coming every month."
- Patient: Doctor, what does the X-ray of my head show?
- Doctor: Absolutely nothing!
The general went to the doctor for a physical. Before he began, the doctor asked him the standard questions -- age, height, weight, and then he asked when was the last time the general had sex.
'Oh,' he mused, 'It was 1945.'
'Isn't that a long time to go without sex?' the doctor asked.
'I don't think so. According to your clock it's only 21:13.'
A girl goes to the doctor. She says, "Doc, I'm freakin' out...
I'm freakin' out...my pee's coming out in four streams."
He says, "Get up on the table and I'll see what I can do."
She gets up on the table, and as he's examining her, he starts to giggle.
She says, "It's not funny. My pee's coming out in four streams."
He says, "It won't anymore. I took the trouser button out of there."
"...clamp...sponge...scalpel...oops..."
As the doctor completed an examination of the patient, he said, "I can't find a cause for your complaint. Frankly, I think it's due to drinking."
"In that case," said the patient, "I'll come back when you're sober"
- Psychiatrist: What's your problem?
- Patient: I think I'm a chicken.
- Psychiatrist: How long has this been going on?
- Patient: Ever since I was an egg!
"Doctor," the embarrassed man said, "I have a sexual problem. I can't get it up for my wife anymore."
"Mr. Thomas, bring her back with you tomorrow and let me see what I can do."
The next day the worried fellow returned with his wife. "Take off your clothes, Mrs. Thomas," the medic said. "Now turn all the way around. Lie down please. Uh-huh, I see. Ok, you may put your clothes back on."
The doctor took the husband aside. "You're in perfect health," he said. "Your wife didn't give me an erection either."
Two doctors found themselves on the beach in Hawaii.
As a real bevy of bikini-clad females walked by, one said, "Look at the legs among that group."
"Sorry old chap." replied the second doctor. "But I'm a chest man myself."
A distraught patient phoned her doctor's office. Was it true, the woman wanted to know, that the medication the doctor had prescribed was for the rest of her life?
She was told that it was.
There was a moment of silence before the woman continued, "I'm wondering, then, just how serious my condition is. This prescription is marked 'NO REFILLS.'"
