Dirty Jokes — most viewed jokes

How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
→ Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.

What did the Indian say to the white woman when she tied his penis in a knot?
→ "How Come?"

What do elephants use for tampons?
→ Sheep.

What should you do if your girlfriend starts smoking?
→ Slow down and use a lubricant.

Why don't men fake orgasm?
→ Coz no man would pull those faces on purpose.

What do you get when you cross an Owl and a Rooster?
→ A cock that stays up all night.

What is the blonde's chronic speech impediment?
→ She can't say "No".

A medical student is taking a test and one of the questions he sees is: "Name the three best advantages of mother's milk."

The student immediately writes, "One: It has all the healthful nutrients needed to sustain a baby.

Two: It is inside the mother's body and therefore protected from germs and infections."

But the student can't think of the third answer. Finally, he writes, "Three: It comes in such nice containers."

After making love, the woman said to the man, "So, you're a doctor?"

"That's right," replied the doctor smugly. "Betcha don't know what kind of doctor."

"Ummm... I'd say that you're an anesthesiologist."

"Yep, that's right! Good guess! How did you know?" asked the guy.

"Because throughout the entire procedure, I didn't feel a thing."

A patient goes to a psychiatrist. The psychiatrist gives him a Rorschach Test; he shows the patient a circle with a dot inside it and asks, "What do you see?"

The patient replies, "Two people are having sex in the middle of a circular room."

The psychiatrist shows the patient another picture of a square with a dot inside it and asks, "What do you see?"

Patient answers, "Two people are having sex in a square room."

The psychiatrist shows the patient one more picture of a triangle with a dot outside it and asks, "What do you see now?"

Patient replies, "Doctor, are you some kind of pervert?!?"