Random joke from this category
A woman went in to see a therapist and said, "I've got a big problem, doctor. Every time we're in bed and my husband climaxes, he lets out an outrageous yell."
"My dear," the doctor said, "that's completely natural. I don't see what the problem is."
"The problem is," she complained, "he keeps waking me up!"
What do a coffin and a condom have in common?
→ They're both filled with stiffs, one's coming, one's going.
Define Transvestite:
→ A guy who likes to eat, drink and be Mary.
An old man in a nursing home awoke one day and trundled down the hallway to the community breakfast room looking rather forlorn. Ms. Smith, a nurse, met him in the hallway. She greeted him smilingly and asked how he was this day.
Mr. Jones allowed that not all was well; in fact, his penis had died during the night. Ms. Smith knew that Mr. Jones was occasionally a little off mentally, so she merely replied that she was sorry to hear the bad news and went on her way.
The next morning Mr. Jones was on his way to breakfast again but on this day he was dressed in a coat and tie, and his penis was hanging out of his pants. Sure enough, he met Ms. Smith whereupon -- although somewhat startled -- she calmly reminded him that the day before he had told her his penis had died and asked why it was hanging out of his pants.
Mr. Jones replied simply, "Today is the viewing."
A man and woman the morning after their honeymoon night were discussing the previous evenings' events. The woman says, "You are a terrible lover!"
The man replies, "How can you tell after only 30 seconds?!"
The girl admitted under parental questioning that she was pregnant, but couldn't say who was responsible.
"All right!" bellowed her Mother, "you march yourself to your room, and don't come out until you can give us a definite answer."
Later that nite her voice rang down the stairs. "Hey Mom, I think I have an idea now."
"I should hope so!" the Mother responded. "The very idea that any daughter of mine could get pregnant, let alone not know the father."
"Chill Mom." the girl said. "I got it narrowed down to the band or the football team!"
The Joys of Horse-riding by Jim Kama
A frustrated wife decided her sex life needed spicing up.
After work, she went shopping and picked up a pair of crotchless panties. She went home and donned the new garment, and selected a short skirt to go with it.
She greeted her husband when he came home from work and sat across from him as she sipped a drink.
She slowly spread her legs ... "Honey would you like some of this?" she asked enticingly. "Hell no!" he gasped, "look what it's done to your underwear!"
What's the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer?
→ A hooker can clean her crack and resell it the next day.
What do you call a dog with no back legs and steel testicles?
→ SPARKY!!!
