Dirty Jokes — most viewed jokes

Do you know why it's called sex?
→ Because it's easier to spell than Uhhhhh..oooohh...

Ahhhhhh....

AIIEEEEEEE!!!

Two guys were discussing popular family trends on sex, marriage, and values.

Stu said:

- I didn't sleep with my wife before we got married, did you?

Leroy replied:

- I'm not sure, What was her maiden name?

Three guys are discussing women.

- I like to watch a woman's tits best - the first guy says.

The second says:

- I like to look at a woman's ass.

He asks the third guy:

- What about you?

- Me? I prefer to see the top of her head.

Maria is a devout Catholic. She gets married and has 17 children. Then her husband dies. She remarries two weeks later, and has 22 children by her next husband. Then he dies. A while later, she dies.

At the funeral, the priest looks skyward and says:

- At least they're finally together.

A guy sitting in the front row says:

- Excuse me Father, but do you mean her and her first husband, or her and her second husband?

The priest says:

- I mean her legs.

Two friends met after a long time, and chatted about what's been going on since they last met. One of them had a new girlfriend and the other one asked about her cooking, her relation to his folks etc. etc. and finally asked "How is she in bed?" First guy replies "She's fantastic, she sucks like a real man!"

Two hookers were on a street corner. They started discussing business, and one of the hookers said:

- Gonna be a good night, I smell cock in the air.

The other hooker looked at her and said:

- No, I just burped.

Two poor kids were invited by a rich kid to a swimming party at his pool. When they were changing into their swim trunks, one turned to the other and said:

- Did you notice the small dongs on the rich kids?

The other answered:

- Yeah! It's probably because they have toys to play with!

Upon returning to their car from a shopping tour, one of the young ladies realized that she had forgotten to stop at the pharmacy for her birth control pills. She rushed into the nearest pharmacy and gave her prescription to the pharmacist. "Please fill this immediately," she asked. "I've got people waiting in my car!"

The common symptoms of swine flu are: High fever, upset stomach, occasional cramps and an irresistible urge to fuck in the mud...

What do Arabs do on saturday night?
→ They sit under palm trees and eat their dates.