Random joke from this category
One day A Blonde girl was running out to check her mail and a neighbor was watching. 5 minutes later she checked it again this happened all through the day till the neighbor went outside and stopped her and asked her why she kept looking in her mail box and her reply was.
"My computer keeps telling me I have mail!"
How do writers send e-mail?
→ On the Inkernet.
How do footballers send messages?
→ By referee-mail.
- Police Chief: Why did you ticket the computer?
- Officer: It was speeding along the information highway.
What did the answering machine say to the telephone?
→ Take my word for it.
- Teacher: Why are you pushing garlic into the computer's disk drive?
- Pupil: To keep vampires off the Internet
- Teacher: But there aren't any vampires on the Internet
- Pupil: See? It works, doesn't it?
What do you call a fire at the Internet cafe?
→ An e-mergency.
What do you put in a www.ashing machine?
→ Net curtains!
One day, a man complained to his friend, "My elbow really hurts, guess I should see a doctor."
His friend said, "Don't do that. There's a computer at the drug store that can diagnose anything quicker and cheaper than a doctor. Simply put in a sample of your urine, and the computer will diagnose your problem and tell you what you can do about it. And it only costs $10.00."
The guy figured he had nothing to lose, so he filled a jar with a urine sample and went to the drug store. Finding the computer, he poured in the sample and deposited the $10.00. The computer started making some noise and various lights started flashing. After a brief pause, out popped a small slip of paper which read:
You have tennis elbow.
Soak your arm in warm water, avoid heavy labor.
It will be better in two weeks.
That evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was and how it would change medical science forever, he began to wonder if this computer could be fooled.
He decided to give it a try. He mixed together some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, and urine samples from his wife and daughter. To top it off, he masturbated into the concoction. He went back to the drug store, located the computer, poured in this sample and deposited the $10.00. The machine again made the usual noises, flashed lights, and printed out the following analysis:
Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener.
Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo.
Your daughter is using cocaine. Put her in a rehabilitation clinic. Your wife is pregnant....twin girls. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer.
And.... if you don't stop jerking off, your elbow will never get better!
I just sent my first e-mail.
→ Kongratulations!
