Celebrities — most viewed jokes

What do you call a fight between film actors?
→ Star wars!

Women dream of world peace, a safe environment, and eliminating hunger.
What do men dream of?
→ Being stuck in a lift with the Spice girls.

What do John Elway, Art Modell, and O.J. Simpson all have in common?
→ They all killed the Browns!

How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?
→ One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?

How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?
→ Well, first let's talk about the concept behind this whole "light bulb" thing.

Why is Dick Clark a favourite star with horses?
→ Because he was a disk jockey from Filly!

From Late Show with David Letterman

Top Ten Signs You've Gone To a Bad Chiropractor

10. When you walk, you make a wacky accordion sound.
11. Keeps saying, "A spine is like a box of chocolates."
12. Repeatly asks, "You a cop? You sure you ain't a cop?"
13. Over and over, you hear crunching sounds followed by "Uh-oh".
14. There's a two drink minimum.
15. At end of session, lies down on the table and says, "My turn!"
16. He was nowhere near Woodstock and yet he's covered with mud.
17. Rushes in late to your appointment still wearing his Burger King uniform.
18. Hints that for an extra $50, he'll "straighten" something else.
19. You're fully-clothed and he's naked.

Stallone, Tony Danza, and Arnold Swarzanagger are all going to be in a musical about famous composers.

Stallone wants to be Mozart, Danza says he'll be Bethoven, and Swarzanagger says "I'll be Bach!"

One day, Clinton called the White House interior decorator into the Oval Office.

He was very furious and said, "Chelsea is very upset because she thinks she has the ugliest room in the entire White House; I want something done about it immediately!"

"Yes Sir, Mr. President," the interior decorator replies. "I'll take those mirrors out right away!"

What did Louis Farrakahn say to Mike Tyson after the fight?
→ No stupid an Eye for an Eye!!!!