Celebrities — most viewed jokes

How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?
→ Two. One to take notes while the other screws it into the faucet.

How many Camera Assistants does it take to screw in a light bulb?
→ Five: One to do it and four to tell you how they did it on the last job.

How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?
→ Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.

An actor went to see a new agent one day and said, "You must have a look at my act, it really is innovative."

So saying, he flew up to the ceiling, circled the room a few times and landed smoothly on the agent's desk.

"So you do bird impressions," said the agent, "what else can you do?"

How many PA's does it take to screw in a light bulb?
→ What's a light bulb?

The producer of a low budget film is trying to convince the newly hired director of the quality of the work by telling him the big names they've gotten for the cast.

"First of all," he tells him, "We've got Gibson in the lead."

The director is surprised, "You got Mel Gibson?"

"Well, no," the Producer responds, "we got Marvin Gibson, he's a distant cousin who lives in Queens, but he's very up and coming. And besides, we've also got Redford."

"You got Robert Redford?" the director asks.

"No, we got Jeremy Redford, but he's very talented and has lots of acting experience from years of dinner theater. But," he says enthusiastically, "we've got Streisand and in a singing role."

"Barbara Streisand?" he asks.

"No, Elizabeth Streisand." The Producer responds. "But she's got a great voice. AND we've got Goulet."

"You got Robert Goulet?" the director asks.

"Yeah," the producer replies glumly, "we got Robert Goulet."

How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
→ Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.

Who is in cowboy films and is always broke?
→ Skint Eastwood.

25. MY PLAN TO FIND THE REAL KILLERS - by O.J. Simpson
26. THE ENGINEER'S GUIDE TO FASHION
27. TO ALL THE MEN I'VE LOVED BEFORE - by Ellen DeGeneres
28. THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN REALITY AND DILBERT
29. HUMAN RIGHTS ADVANCES IN CHINA
30. THINGS I WOULD NOT DO FOR MONEY - by Dennis Rodman
31. THE WILD YEARS - by Al Gore
32. AMELIA EARHART'S GUIDE TO THE PACIFIC OCEAN
33. AMERICA'S MOST POPULAR LAWYERS
34. CAREER OPPORTUNITIES FOR LIBERAL ARTS MAJORS
35. DETROIT - A TRAVEL GUIDE
36. DIFFERENT WAYS TO SPELL BOB
37. DR. KEVORKIAN'S COLLECTION OF MOTIVATIONAL SPEECHES
38. EASY UNIX
39. ETHIOPIAN TIPS ON WORLD DOMINANCE AND AGRICULTURE
40. EVERYTHING MEN KNOW ABOUT WOMEN
41. EVERYTHING WOMEN KNOW ABOUT MEN
42. FRENCH HOSPITALITY
43. GEORGE FOREMAN'S BIG BOOK OF BABY NAMES
44. HOW TO SUSTAIN A MUSICAL CAREER - by Art Garfunkel
45. MIKE TYSON'S GUIDE TO DATING ETIQUETTE
46. SPOTTED OWL RECIPES - by the EPA
47. STAPLE YOUR WAY TO SUCCESS
48. THE AMISH PHONE DIRECTORY

And the Number one World's Shortest book......

1. HOW TO OVERCOME TEMPTATION - by Bill Clinton

- Fred: I'd love to be an actress.

- Harry: Break a leg then!

- Amy: Whatever for?

- Fred: Then you'd be in a cast for weeks.