Business Jokes — most viewed jokes

What did the man do when he got a big gas bill?
→ He exploded.

How many architects does it take to change a light bulb?
→ Just one, but he has to coordinate ten other professionals who are doing this quiet complicated task.

What does a carpet salesman give his wife for Valentine's Day?
→ Rugs and kisses!

Why was the struggling mange seen shaking the club cat?
→ To see if there was any more money in the kitty!

What is the quickest way to double your money?
→ Fold it in half!

What would happen if we priced our "COWS" using the same criteria the auto industry uses to price a "CAR"?

LIST PRICING A COW

A farmer had been taken several times by the local car dealer. One day, the car dealer informed the farmer that he was coming over to purchase a cow. The farmer priced his unit as follows:

• BASIC COW: $499.95
• Shipping and handling: 35.75
• Extra Stomach: 79.25
• Two Tone Exterior: 142.10
• Produce Storage Compartment: 126.50
• Heavy Duty Straw Chopper: 189.60
• Four Spigot/High Output Drain System: 149.20
• Automatic Fly Swatter: 88.50
• Genuine Cowhide Upholstery: 179.90
• Deluxe Dual Horns: 59.25
• Automatic Fertilizer Attachment: 339.40
• 4X4 Traction Drive Assembly: 884.16
• Pre-delivery Wash and Comb: 69.80

FARMER'S SUGGESTED LIST PRICE: $2,843.36
Additional Dealer Adjustments: 300.00
TOTAL LIST PRICE (Including Options): $3,143.36

Grey Poupon and Dockers Pants:
New company will be called - Poupon Pants.

Knott's Berry Farms and National Organization of Women:
New company will be called - Knott NOW!!!

What kind of money do monsters use?
→ Weirdo (weird dough).

What happened when the cat swallowed a coin?
→ There was money in the kitty.

A man walks into a pharmacy and goes to the counter. Standing behind the counter is a young woman.

"May I speak to the pharmacist?" he asks.

"Well," she replies, "I am the pharmacist."

He looks very uncomfortable, and asks for a male pharmacist, as he has a "male problem."

She informs him that only she and her sister work at this particular establishment.

He blushes and says, "Well, I really do need help, so I guess I'll ask you... I have a problem. I have a constant erection, and nothing I do seems to get rid of it. It's been like this for three months now. Can you give me anything for it?"

The woman looks thoughtful, and says, "Hold on, I'll go in back and ask my sister."

After a couple of minutes she returns and says, "We'll give you half of the business and it's profits, but that's all we can give you for it..."