Random joke from this category
A guy took his blonde girlfriend to a football game for the first time.
After the game he asked his girlfriend how she liked the game.
"Oh, I really liked it," she said, "but I just couldn't understand why they were killing each other for 25 cents."
"What on earth do you mean???"
"Well I saw them flip a coin and one team got it and then for the rest of the game all they kept screaming was:
Get the quarter back! Get the quarter back!
What's the mating call of the blonde?
→ "I'm sooo drunk!"
What is the mating call of the ugly blonde?
→ (Screaming) "I said: I'm drunk!"
Why is a blonde like Australia?
→ They're both down under, and no one cares.
What do blonde's have against condoms?
→ Their cheeks.
What is a blonde's definition of a naval destroyer?
→ A hula hoop with a nail in it.
How do you keep a blonde in suspense?
→ Give her a mirror and tell her to wait for the other person to say 'hi.'
How do you drown a blonde?
→ When he asks for a lifesaver, ask him what flavor he wants.
One day, a blonde's neighbor goes over to her house, sees the blonde crying, and asks her what happened. The blonde said that her mother had passed away. The neighbor made her some coffee and calmed her down a little and then left. The next day the neighbor went back over to the house and found the blonde crying again. She asked her why she was crying this time.
"I just got off of the phone with my sister, her mother died too!"
A blonde was going on a plane trip to New York.
When the attendant came by and asked for her ticket, she told the blonde, "I'm sorry. Your ticket isn't for first class. Could you please move to your seat." The blonde replied, "Im blonde, I'm beautiful, and I'm going to New York." The attendant said, "That's fine miss, but you'll have to go to your seat." The blonde responded again, "I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, and I'm going to New York."
This conversation continued, always with the blonde's same response.
The attendant got so upset that she went to the captain and told him about the blonde. The captain went and whispered something in the blonde's ear and the blonde immeadiately got up and went to her seat in coach.
The attendant asked the captain how he got the stubborn blonde to move.
He said, "I just told her that this part of the plane wasn't going to New York."
A guy walks into a bar with a pet alligator by his side. He puts the alligator up on the bar and turns to the astonished patrons.
"I'll make you a deal. I'll open this alligator's mouth and place my genitals inside. Then the gator will close his mouth for one minute. He'll then open his mouth and I'll remove my unit unscathed. In return for witnessing this spectacle, each of you will buy me a drink."
The crowd murmured their approval.
The man stood up on the bar, dropped his trousers, and placed his privates in the alligator's open mouth. The gator closed his mouth as the crowd gasped.
After a minute, the man grabbed a beer bottle and rapped the alligator hard on the top of its head.
The gator opened his mouth and the man removed his genitals unscathed as promised.
The crowd cheered and the first of his free drinks was delivered.
The man stood up again and made another offer. "I'll pay anyone $100 who's willing to give it a try".
A hush fell over the crowd. After a while, a hand went up in the back of the bar.
A BLONDE woman timidly spoke up. "I'll try, but you have to promise not to hit me on the head with the beer bottle."
