Blonde Jokes — most viewed jokes

A blonde goes into a bar. The bartender asks her what she would like, and she replies, "Bring me a beer."
The bartender then asks, "Anheuser-Busch?"
To which she replies, "Fine thanks, and how's your cock?"

How can you tell if a cat is blonde?
→ No matter what height you drop it from it always lands on its head.

These two blondes walk into a building.
You'd think one of them would have seen it.

A guy walks into a pub and sees a sign hanging over the bar:

• Cheese Sandwich: $1.50
• Chicken Sandwich: $2.50
• Hand Job: $10.00

Checking his wallet for the necessary payment, he walks up to the bar and beckons to one of the three exceptionally attractive blondes serving drinks to an eager-looking group of men.

"Yes?" she inquires with a knowing smile, "can I help you?"

"I was wondering", whispers the man, "are you the one who gives the hand jobs?"

"Yes," she purrs, "I am."

The man replies "Well wash your hands, I want a cheese sandwich!"

A bunch of blondes walk into a restaurant celebrating and chanting "28 days, 28 days, it only took us 28 days!!"

Everyone was wondering what took them 28 days and why they were celebrating. Finally, when the blondes were about to leave, a waitor goes up and asks "What took you 28 days, why are you celebrating??"

All the blondes say "We just finished a puzzle in 28 days and on the box it said 3-6 years!!!"

What's the difference between Indiana and a blonde?
→ A blonde has larger hills and deeper valleys.

How did the blonde die drinking milk?
→ The cow stepped on her.

What do you call 20 blondes in a freezer?
→ Frosted Flakes!

What is it when a blonde blows into another blonde's ear?
→ Data transfer.

What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?
→ "I wonder if it's mine?"

How do you confuse a blonde?
→ Give her a package of M&M's and tell her to put them in alphabetical order.

Why did the blonde resolve to have only three children?
→ Because she read that one child out of every four born, was Chinese.

Why did the blonde lose her job as an elevator operator?
→ She couldn't learn the route.

Why did the blonde drive around the block fifty-seven times?
→ Her turn signal was stuck.

Why did the blonde ask her friends to save their burned-out light bulbs?
→ She needed them for the darkroom she was building.

Why are the Japanese so smart?
→ No blondes.

What do you call a dead blonde in a closet?
→ The 1995 Hide and Seek World Champion.

Two blondes were in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their car with a coat hanger.

- I can't seem to get this door unlocked!

- Well you better hurry up. It's starting to rain and the top is down!

Why are only 2% of blondes touch-typists?
→ The rest are hunt'n peckers.