Random joke from this category
A blonde, brunette and a redhead run to the top of a burning building. Below, a few firefighters are holding a blanket telling the redhead to jump. When the redhead jumps the firefighters snatch the blanket away and she hits the concrete. When the firefighters ask the brunette to jump she jumps and again they pull the blanket away. When the firefighters ask the blonde to jump she replies, "I don't trust you, so just put the blanket down and back away."
A blonde, brunette, and redhead went to a church to donate money. The brunette draws a circle around her and throws up all her money. She says that whatever lands inside the circle is for God, and whatever lands outside of the circle she keeps. The redhead then draws a line, stands on it, and throws up all of her money. She said that whatever lands on the right side of the line is for God, and whatever lands on the left side she keeps.
The blonde throws up her money, and yells, "God, whatever you catch is yours, and whatever you don't I get to keep."
Santa, a dumb blonde and a smart blonde ran a race. Who won?
→ Santa flys, not runs, there aren't any smart blondes, so the dumb blonde it must be!
What's the difference between a blonde and a solar powered calculator?
→ The blonde works in the dark!
What do you call a blonde in a leather jacket?
→ A rebel without a clue!
A guy took his girlfriend to her first football game. Afterward he asked her how she liked the game.
- I liked it, but I couldn't understand why they were killing each other for 25 cents, she said.
- What do you mean?
- Well, everyone kept yelling, "Get the quarter back!"
- Regis: Barbara, you've done very well so far - $500,000 and one lifeline left -- phone a friend. The next question will give you the top prize of One Million dollars if you get it right ... but if you get it wrong you will drop back to $32,000 -- are you ready?
- Barbara: Sure, I'll have a go!
- Regis: Which of the following birds does not build it's own nest? Is it........ A-Robin B-Sparrow C-Cuckoo D-Thrush Remember Barbara its worth 1 Million dollars.
- Barbara: I think I know who it..but I'm not 100%... No, I haven't got a clue. I'd like to phone a friend Regis, just to be sure.
- Regis: Yes, who, Barbara, do you want to phone?
- Barbara: I'll phone my friend Maggie back home in Birmingham.
(ringing)
- Maggie (also a blonde): Hello...
- Regis: Hello Maggie, its Regis here from Who Wants to be a Millionaire-I have Barbara here and she is doing really well on $500,000, but needs your help to be a Million. The next voice you hear will be Barbara's and she'll read you the question. There are 4 possible answers and 1 correct answer and you have 30 seconds to answer -- fire away Barbara.
- Barbara: Maggie, which of the following birds does not build it's own nest? Is it: A-Robin B-Sparrow C-Cuckoo D-Thrush
- Maggie: Oh Gees, Barbara that's simple..... It's a Cuckoo.
- Barbara: You think?
- Maggie: I'm sure.
- Barbara: Thanks Maggie.
(hangs up)
- Regis: Well, do you want to stick on $500,000 or play on for the Million, Barbara?
- Barbara: I want to play, I'll go with C-Cuckoo
- Regis: Is that your final answer?
- Barbara: It is.
- Regis: Are you confident?
- Barbara: Yes fairly, Maggie's a sound bet.
- Regis: Barbara.....you had $500,000 and you said C-Cuckoo ...you're right! - You have just won ONE MILLION DOLLARS. Here is your check. You have been a great contestant and a real gambler. Audience please put your hands together for Barbara.
(clapping)
That night Barbara calls round to Maggie and brings her down to a local bar for a celebration drink and, as they are sipping their Champagne, Barbara turns to Maggie and asks, "Tell me Maggie, How in God's name did you know that it was the Cuckoo that does not build its own nest?"
- Maggie: Listen Barbara, everybody knows that a Cuckoo lives in a clock.
Did you hear about the blonde who stayed up all night to see where the sun went?
→ It finally dawned on her!
What do you call 3 blondes under a Christmas tree?
→ Ho-Ho-Ho!
A blonde gets on an airplane and sits down in the first class section. The stewardess tells her she must move to coach because she doesn't have a first class ticket. The blonde replies, "I'm blonde, I'm smart and I have a good job. I'm staying in first class until we reach Jamaica."
The stewardess gets the head stewardess who asks the woman to leave and she says, "I'm blonde, I'm smart, and I have a good job. I'm staying in first class until we reach Jamaica."
The stewardesses doesn't know what to do because they have to get the rest of the passengers seated to take off, so they get the copilot. The copilot goes up to the blonde and whispers in her ear. She immediately gets up and goes to her seat in the coach section.
The head stewardess asks the copilot what he said to get her to move. The copilot replies, "I told her the front half of the airplane wasn't going to Jamaica."
