Blonde Jokes — most viewed jokes

A blonde golfer goes into the pro shop and looks around frowning.

Finally the pro asks her what she wants. "I can't find any green golf balls," the blonde golfer complains.

The pro looks all over the shop, and through all the catalogs, and finally calls the manufacturers and determines that sure enough, there are no green golf balls.

As the blonde golfer walks out the door in disgust, the pro asks her, "Before you go, could you tell me why you want green golf balls?"

"Well obviously, because they would be so much easier to find in the sand traps!"

There was a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead, who were all stranded on an island.

One day they found a genie and he said he would grant them three wishes.

All three of them agreed that each of them would get one wish each.

The brunette said, "I wish I was home in my bed and that this never happened.", and poof her wish was granted.

The redhead said, "I wish that I was at home in my bed and this never happened.", and poof her wish was granted.

Then the blond said, "I wish my friends were here with me."

Whats the difference between a blond and a Mosquito?
→ The mosquito stops sucking after you slap it.

There was a blonde whose house was on fire. She called the fire department and asked them to come put it out. When they asked how to get to her house, and she rolled her eyes and said... "Duh, use the big red truck!"

A small company recently hired a new blonde secretary who certainly wasn't the sharpest knife in the drawer. One day while she was typing, she turned to another secretary and said, "What do I do now? I'm almost out of typing paper."

"Just use the copier machine paper," replied the other secretary.

With that, the blonde took her last remaining blank sheet of typing paper, placed it on the photocopier and proceeded to make ten blank copies.

A Blonde was down on her luck. In order to raise some money, she decided to kidnap a kid and hold him for ransom. She went to the playground, grabbed a kid, took him behind a tree, and told him, "I've kidnapped you." She then wrote a note saying, "I've kidnapped your kid. Tomorrow morning, put $10,000 in a paper bag and put it under the pecan tree next to the slide on the north side of the playground. Signed, A Blonde." The Blonde then pinned the note to the kid's shirt and sent him home to show it to his parents. The next morning the blonde checked, and sure enough, a paper bag was sitting beneath the pecan tree.

The Blonde opened the bag and found the $10,000 with a note that said, "How could you do this to a fellow Blonde?"

What do you call a blonde with a dollar bill over her head?
→ All you can eat for under a buck.

What do you call a blonde standing on her head?
→ A brunette with bad breath!

Why is a washing machine better than a blonde?
→ Because you can drop your load in a washing machine, and it won't follow you around for a week.

What have a blonde and a computer got in common?
→ You don't realise how much you miss them until they go down on you!