Blonde Jokes — most viewed jokes

A State Trooper pulls a car over on a lonely back road and approaches the blonde lady driver.

"Ma'am, is there a reason that you're weaving all over the road?"

The woman replied, "Oh officer, thank goodness you're here! I almost had an accident! I looked up and there was a tree right in front of me. I swerved to the left and there was another tree in front of me. I swerved to the right and there was another tree in front of me!"

Reaching through the side window to the rear view mirror, the officer replied, "Ma'am... that's your air freshener!"

A business man got on an elevator in a building. When he entered the elevator, there was a blonde already inside and she greeted him by saying, "T-G-I-F" (letters only). He smiled at her and replied, "S-H-I-T" (letters only).

She looked at him, puzzled, and said, "T-G-I-F" again.

He acknowledged her remark again by answering, "S-H-I-T." The blond was trying to be friendly, so she smiled her biggest smile and said as sweetly as possibly "T-G-I-F" another time. The man smiled "S-H-I-T." The blond finally decided to explain things, and this time she said, "T-G-I-F, Thank Goodness It's Friday, get it?"

The man answered, "Sorry, Honey, It's Thursday."

Why did the blonde keep a coat hanger in her back seat?
→ In case she locks the keys in her car.

What do you call a dead blonde in a closet?
→ The 1988 Hide-and-Go-Seek World Champion.

What is black, blue, red, and brown?
→ A Brewnette that has told to many Blonde Joke.

What does a brewnette always miss at a great party?
→ The invitation.

Why are blonde jokes so short?
→ So that brewnettes can understand them.

What is a fine lookin' man with a brewnette?
→ A hostage.

One day, a blonde was left alone in a lab with a beetle. She examined it and decided to do an experiment. She pulled off one of its legs, then asked it to run. The beetle obeyed her command. Then, she pulled off a second leg and asked it to run. It did, but with a lot of difficulty. Finally, she pulled the remaining legs off and asked it to run. It couldn't.

"I have made a new discovery!" the blonde cried. "When you pull all of a beetle's legs off, it becomes deaf!!"

2 blondes walk into a building..... Wouldn't you think at least one of them would have seen it??

Okay, so this blonde is driving by in his red sports car, and he sees another blonde rowing with oars in a cornfield.

Well, he is just absolutely furious and he gets out of the car and yells to the blonde in the cornfield: "Hey, if I knew how to swim, I'd go right out there and give you a piece of my mind!"

Did you hear about the blonde that stared at an orange juice can for 20 minutes because it said concentrate?

A blonde and her husband are laying in bed watching TV, an old western is on. The husband says to his wife, "I bet you breakfast in bed that the covered wagon hits a rock and the driver falls out dead,"

"You're on," returned his wife.

They watch the western and sure enough the wagon hits a rock in the dirt road and the driver falls out of the wagon ... dead. The wife gets out of bed and returns shortly with a tray of food. After eating the husband says, "I have to admit that I saw this movie before."

She in turn confesses, "I saw the movie before too. But I didn't think he was stupid enough to ride over the same rock twice...."