Blonde Jokes — most viewed jokes

A blonde was sitting down in a bar one day next to a red-head. Both of them were sitting there having a good time and then the news turned on. The woman reporter shouted out "This just in! A man is at the edge of a cliff attempting to jump!" Then the red-head leans over to the blonde and whispers, "I bet you $50 that the man's gonna jump!" The blonde responds back "That's a bet you have there!" So, both of the woman stared at the news waiting to know whats gonna happen. Then, the man jumps! The blonde turns around to the red-head and hands her the $50. The red-head feeling guilty said "I cant take that there money. I saw the news earlier this mornin', i knew he was gonna jump off that there cliff." And the blonde says "Well, i did too! But i never would have thought that the man would do it again!"

A blonde phoned police to report that thieves had been in her car. "They've stolen the dashboard, the steering wheel, the brake pedal, even the accelerator," she cried out. However, before the police investigation could start, the phone rang a second time and the same voice came over the line. "Never mind, I got in the back seat by mistake."

Why do brunettes like their dark hair color?
→ It doesn't show the dirt.

Who makes all the bras for brunettes?
→ Fisher-Price

Why didn't Indians scalp brunettes?
→ The hair from a buffalo's butt was more manageable.

Why are most brunettes flat-chested?
→ It makes it easier for them to read their T-shirts.

Why are brunettes so proud of their hair?
→ It matches their mustache.

Why is the color brunette considered evil?
→ When's the last time ya saw a blonde witch?

How can you tell a brunette is lonely?
→ Check her for a pulse.

What is the most frustrated animal in the world?
→ A brunette rabbit.

Why do brunettes wear training bras?
→ It's cheaper than changing their Band-Aids every day.

Why did they quit selling brunette Barbie dolls?
→ Parents felt the dandruff might be contagious.

How do brunettes get the tangles out their hair?
→ With a rake.

Why don't brunettes get breast implants?
→ They've already spent their money on thigh & butt implants.

Why did God create brunettes?
→ So ugly men wouldn't feel left out.

What do brunettes miss most about a great party?
→ The invitation.

Where do brunettes get the hair for a transplant?
→ From their underarms.

How do you describe a brunette whose phone rings on Saturday night?
→ Startled.

What do you call a good-looking man with a brunette?
→ A hostage.

How did Revlon come up with it's brunette hair color?
→ By studying what oil spills did to seaweed.

What's the difference between a brunette and the trash?
→ At least the trash gets taken out once a week.

What kind of costumes do brunette girls wear on Halloween?
→ They just stand on their heads and go as dirty mops.

Why do brunettes have to pay an extra $2,000 for a breast job?
→ Because the plastic surgeon has to start from scratch.

What did the frustrated brunette say to her uninterested lover?
→ 'What part of yes don't you understand?'

What's the difference between a blonde and the Suez/Panama Canal?
→ One's a busy ditch.

Why do blondes have little holes all over their faces?
→ From eating with forks.

This Cowboy is riding the range when he gets ambushed by some indians. They take him back to their villiage to see the chief. The Chief looks at the cowboy and says: "You White man, you will die at sundown, but Chief is not as evil as white man, so you gettum three wishes. What is your first wish?"

The cowboy looks around, thinks, then, with a gulp, says: "well, can i talk to my horse o' great chief?"

The Chief looks puzzled, laughs to his tribe and says "he-he, sure white man you can talk to your horse". So the cowboy goes to his horse and wispers in it's ear, the horse looks puzzled, but then with bright eyes it gallops off in a cloud of dust. The Indians just sit and laugh at the cowboy for wasting his wish. BUT, all of a sudden the horse returns with a Blonde riding upon its back. The indians look amazed. The chief grins, points to a secluded Teepee. The cowboy now looks embarrassed, so he takes the blonde and goes into the teepee. An hour later he comes out and says, "Chief, can i talk to my horse again?" The chief says sure, but that be wish number two. Ok says the cowboy.

The cowboys goes to the horse and once again wispers into it's ear, and with a gallop the horse is off!... 15 minutes later, the horse returns, this time having a Brunnette aboard. Once again the cowboy is shown the secluded teepee.

An hour later the cowboy comes out, obivously tired now, with only a few hours left before sundown. He looks to the chief, and before he says a word, the chief grins and says "Sure crazy white man you can talk to your horse.."

So the cowboy goes to the horse and GRABS him by the ear and yells "LET ME GET THIS STRAIGHT,...

I SAID - GO GET A POSSE!!!"

A blonde and a brunette are taking a walk, and the burnette goes, "Oh look, a dead bird," and the blonde looks up at the sky and goes, "Where?"

Why did the blonde get fired from her job working at an M&M factory?
→ She kept throwing out all of the W's!

How is a blonde and a screen door alike?
→ The harder you bang them the looser they get.

How do you make a blonde laugh on Saturday??
→ Tell them a joke on Wednesday!!