Animal Jokes — most viewed jokes

How does a cow do math?
→ With a cowculator!

A precious little girl walks into a pet shop and asks in the sweetest little lisp, "Excuthe me, mithter, do you keep widdle wabbits?"

As the shopkeeper's heart melts, he gets down on his knees, so that he's on her level, and asks,

"Do you want a widdle white wabby or a thoft and fuwwy bwack wabby or maybe one like that cute widdle bwown wabby over there?"

She in turn blushes, rocks on her heels, puts her hands on her knees,

leans forward and says in a quiet voice, "I don't fink my pet python weally gives a thit."

How do you know that cats are sensitive creatures?
→ They never cry over spilt milk!

What's a moo hoo for a young calf?
→ A new moo!

What are the spots on black-and-white cows?
→ Holstaines

How did that bullfight come out?
→ Oh, it was a toss-up!

- Elf: Santa, one of the reindeer swallowed my pencil! What should I do?

- Santa: Use a pen.

Dear Father Christmas, could you please send me some Crocodile shoes!.

- Father Christmas: Can't do that one. He hasn't said what size his crocodile takes!

What is a cow's favourite TV show?
→ Dr Moo!

How do sheep in Mexico say Merry Christmas?
→ Fleece Navidad!