Animal Jokes — most viewed jokes

What's a snakes favourite TV program?
→ Monty Python!

So one day, Gramma sent her grandson Johnny down to the water hole to get some water for cooking dinner. As he was dipping the bucket in, he saw two big eyes looking back at him. He dropped the bucket and hightailed it for Gramma's kitchen. "Well now, where's my bucket and where's my water?" Gramma asked him.

"I can't get any water from that water hole, Gramma" exclaimed Johnny. "There's a BIG ol' alligator down there!"

"Now don't you mind that ol' alligator, Johnny. He's been there for a few years now, and he's never hurt no one. Why, he's probably as scared of you as you are of him!"

"Well, Gramma," replied Johnny, "if he's as scared of me as I am of him, then that water ain't fit to drink!"

Why is horse racing so romantic?
→ Because the horse hugs the rails, the jockey puts his arms around the horse and you can kiss your money goodbye!

What was the most flexiest dinosaur?
→ Tyrannosaurus Flex.

What two members of the cow family go everywhere with you?
→ Your calves!

What do cows like to line dance to?
→ Any kind of moosic you like!

What do you get if you cross an insect and a dance?
→ A cricket ball!

What's a moo hoo for a darling bull?
→ A dear steer!

What's a frogs favourite flower?
→ A croakus!

What newspaper do cows read?
→ The Daily Moos.