Animal Jokes — most viewed jokes

Which insect didn't play well in goal?
→ The fumble bee!

What goes dot, dot, dash, squeak?
→ Mouse code!

What did the judge say when a skunk entered the courtroom?
→ Odor, Odor in the court!!!

Commissioned by a zoo to bring them some baboons, the big game hunter devised a novel scheme to trap them - his only requirements being a sack, a gun, and a particularly vicious and bad tempered dog. Once in the jungle he explained to his assistant, "I'll climb this tree and shake the branches; if there are any baboons up there, they will fall to the ground - and the dogs will bite their tail and immobilise them so that you can pick them up quite safely and put them in the sack." "But what do I need the gun for?" asked the assisant. "If I should fall out of the tree by mistake, shoot the dog."

How do you go about hiring a horse?
→ Try two pairs of stilts!

What's a toad's favourite sweet?
→ Lollihops!

What do you call 3 blondes, a chimp, and another blonde standing on a street corner?
→ 4 f*cks, 4 f*cks, 4 f*cks, not for a zillion f*cks, 4 f*cks!

"Outside a dog, a book is a great companion. Inside a dog, it's pretty dark!"

Have you heard about the slippery eel?
→ Didn't think so, you wouldn't be able to grasp it!

Why did the bald man paint rabbits on his head?
→ Because from a distance they looked like hares!