Animal Jokes — most viewed jokes

What pill would you give to an elephant that can't sleep?
→ Trunkquilizers!

Why did the Easter Bunny have to fire the duck?
→ Because he kept quacking all the eggs!

How did the soggy Easter Bunny dry himself?
→ With a hare dryer!

What do you call a litter of young dogs who have come in from the snow?
→ Slush puppies!

What business is King Kong in?
→ Monkey business.

A guy walks into a bar with a dog under his arm, puts the dog on the bar and announces that the dog can talk and that he has $100 he's willing to bet anyone who says he can't.

The bartender quickly takes the bet and the owner looks at the dog and asks:

- What's the thing on top of this building which keeps the rain from coming inside?

The dog answers:

- ROOF.

The bartender says:

- Who are you kidding? I'm not paying.

The dogs owner says:

- How about double or nothing and I'll ask him something else.

The bartender agrees and the owner turns to the dog and asks:

- Who was the greatest ballplayer of all time?

The dog answers with a muffled:

- RUTH.

With that the bartender picks them both up and throws them out the door.

As they bounce on the sidewalk, the dog looks at his owner and says:

- DiMaggio?

What's a glow worms favourite song?
→ Wake me up before you glow glow!

What did the earwig say as it fell down the stairs?
→ Ear we go!

What does a bee get at McDonalds?
→ A humburger!

What is the difference between an elephant and a flea?
→ An elephant can have fleas but a flea can't have elephants!