Animal Jokes — most viewed jokes

What do you call a rich frog?
→ A gold-blooded reptile.

What do you call a 100 year old frog?
→ An old croak!

Why are fish no good at tennis?
→ They don't like to get too close to the net!

What would you call a nine day old dog in Russia?
→ A puppy.

Why don't dinosaurs take ballet lessons?
→ They outgrew their leotards.

You know that Storks bring babys of course.
What kind of bird definitely does not bring babys?
→ Swallows!

A woman had two female parrots who were always yelling:

- We're prostitutes, wanna have a little fun?

She was talking to her Preacher one day about this. He said he had two male parrots and all they did was read the Bible. He thought perhaps they would be a good influence on the two females. So they put the four parrots together.

So, the females yelled at the male parrots:

- We're prostitutes, wanna have a little fun?

One male parrot said to the other:

- Put the Bibles away! We've made it to heaven!

What do you get if you cross a trumpet and a serpent?
→ A snake in the brass!

Jane's father decided to take all the family out to a restaurant for a meal. As he'd spent quite a lot of money for the meal he said to the waiter:

- Could I have a bag to take the leftovers home for the dog?

- Gosh! - exclaimed Jane.

- Are we getting a dog?

When pigs get a toothache, who do they see?
→ Painless Porker.