Animal Jokes — most viewed jokes

Why did the kangaroo love the little Australian bear?
→ Because the bear had many fine koala-ties!

Did you hear about the man who received a tip on a horse called Cigarette?
→ He didn't have enough money tabaccer!

What does a frog say when it washes car windows?
→ Rub it, rub it, rub it.

What do you get if you cross a frog with a decathlete?
→ Someone who pole-vaults without a pole.

Why don't elephants like martinis?
→ Have you ever tried to get an olive out of your nose?

What's grey, stands in a river when it rains and doesn't get wet?
→ An elephant with an umbrella!

Why was the mother flea so unhappy?
→ All her children had gone to the dogs.

What happened when the dog went to the flea circus?
→ He stole the show!

There was this city doctor who started a practice in the countryside. He once had to go to a farm to attend to a sick farmer who lived there. After a few housecalls he stopped coming to the farm.

The puzzled farmer finally phoned him to ask whats the matter, didn't he like him or somethin'.

The doctor replied:

- No, its your ducks at the entrance... Every time I enter the farm, they insult me!

Who needs a man!...

My dog growls at me every morning, my parrot swears all afternoon, my fireplace smokes a lot, my cat slinks home in the early morning hours, and I have a physician who looks me over regularly.