Animal Jokes — most viewed jokes

How do really posh dogs send messages?
→ By predigree-mail.

Why did the dog sleep so poorly?
→ By mistake he plugged his electric blanket into the toaster and kept popping out of bed all night!

What side of the dog has the most fur?
→ The Outside.

What do cows do for entertainment?
→ They go to the mooooovies.

A frog goes into the bank and asks the teller for a loan. The teller tells the frog to see Mr. Paddywack, the loan officer.

Mr. Paddywack looks at the frog and says:

- What do you have for collateral?

The frog pulls out of his pocket a solid silver elephant.

Mr. Paddywack looks at the elephant and says:

- I don't know. I'm going to have to ask Mr. Larson, the bank manager to approve this.

He goes into Mr. Larson's office and comes back.

Two minutes later, Mr. Larson comes out with the elephant and says:

- It's a knick-knack Paddywack, give the frog a loan!

How do you put six elephants in a Volkswagen?...
→ Three in front and three in back...

What's the difference between the dinosaur and a dragon...?
→ Dinosaurs are too young to SMOKE!

Why did some snakes disobey Noah when he said:

- Go forth and multiply?

→ They couldn't, they were adders!

What sort of animals make the best TV presenters?
→ Gnus - readers!

What happened when the cat swallowed a coin?
→ There was money in the kitty.