Animal Jokes — most viewed jokes

What did the angry man sing when he found his slippers chewed up by the new puppy?
→ I must throw that doggie out the window!

A bird was flying south for Winter, but he had left it too late and was frozen solid in a storm. He dropped down into a pasture of cows. The biggest, fattest cow was doing a crap there, and the bird landed in it. At first he was disgusted, until he realised the poo was thawing him out! He started crying out for joy as the ice melted. A cat that was nearby heard the cries, walked over, saw the bird and ate it.

There are three morals to this story:

1. Not everyone who gets you into shit is your enemy.
2. Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.
3. If you are in shit, keep your mouth shut.

What kind of letters did the snake get from his admirers?
→ Fang letters!

What do you call a dumb bunny?
→ A hare brain.

What are four hundred rabbits hopping backwards?
→ A receding hare line.

What is the pig's favorite musical instrument?
→ The piggalo (piccalo).

How can you tell a bagpiper with perfect pitch?
→ He can throw a set into the middle of a pond and not hit any of the ducks.

How do you save a drowning mouse?
→ Use mouse to mouse resuscitation!

What did Dr Frankenstein get when he put his goldfish's brain in the body of his dog?
→ I don't know, but it is great at chasing submarines.

What happened when the chef found a daddy long legs in the salad?
→ It became a daddy short legs!