Animal Jokes — most viewed jokes

What's black, brown and white, black, brown and white, brown and white, etc.?
→ A Gorilla riding down a snowbank!

What birds are found in Portugal?
→ Portu-geese!

There is a new Barbie doll on the market -

King Kong Barbie ...six foot tall ape holding Barbie doll dressed like Fae Rae

The last time I saw a face like yours I threw it a banana.

What do you call an ant from overseas?
→ Impartant

Frank was excited about his new rifle. So, he went bear hunting. He spotted a small brown bear and shot it. There was then a tap on his shoulder, and he turned around to see a big black bear.

The black bear said:

- You've got two choices. I either maul you to death or we have rough sex.

Frank decided to bend over. Even though he felt sore for two weeks, Frank soon recovered and vowed revenge. He headed out on another trip where he found the black bear and shot it.

There was another tap on his shoulder.

This time a huge grizzly bear stood right next to him. The grizzly says:

- That was a huge mistake, Frank. You've got two choices. Either I maul you to death or we have REALLY rough sex.

Again, Frank thought it was better to comply. Although he survived, it would take several months before Frank finally recovered. Outraged he headed back to the woods, managed to track down the grizzly and shot it.

He felt sweet revenge, but then there was a tap on his shoulder. He turned around to find a giant polar bear standing there.

The polar bear says:

- Admit it, Frank, you don't come here for the hunting, do you?

Did you hear about the whale who couldn't keep a secret?
→ He was a blubber mouth!

How do you weigh a whale?
→ On Whale Weigh Scales.

- What kind of math do owls like?

- Owlgebra.

There's a guy who's hiking in the woods one day when a bear chases him up a really tall tree.
The bear started to climb the tree, so the guy climbed up higher. Then, the bear climbed down and went away.

So the guy starts to climb down the tree. Suddenly, the bear returns, and this time he's brought an even bigger bear with him. The two bears climb up the tree, the bigger bear going higher than the first. But the guy climbed even higher still, so the bears couldn't reach him.
Eventually, the bears went away.

Naturally quite relieved, the guy starts down the tree again. Suddenly, the two bears return. But this time the guy knew he was in big trouble.

Each bear was carrying a BEAVER.