Guest
No Extra Charge
- Waiter, there's a fly in my soup!
- Its OK, Sir, there's no extra charge!
Animal Jokes — most viewed jokes
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Random joke from this category
Guest
Stampeding Herd
What has 200 legs, 50 noses, and is very loud?
→ A herd of stampeding aardvarks!
Guest
Dog At The Hotel
A man wrote a letter to a small hotel in a Midwest town he planned to visit on his vacation.
He wrote:
- I would very much like to bring my dog with me. He is well-groomed and very well behaved. Would you be willing to permit me to keep him in my room with me at night?
An immediate reply came from the hotel owner, who said:
- I've been operating this hotel for many years. In all that time, I've never had a dog steal towels, bedclothes, silverware or pictures off the walls.
I've never had to evict a dog in the middle of the night for being drunk and disorderly. And I've never had a dog run out on a hotel bill. Yes, indeed, your dog is welcome at my hotel. And, if your dog will vouch for you, you're welcome to stay here, too.
Chicken Crosses the Road
Why'd the chicken cross the road?
→ He was attached to Dennis Rodman's head!
Guest
Jesus and the Robber
One night a robber broke into a home and heard a voice say, "Jesus is watching you!" while he rumagged through the desk. He replied:
- Who said that?!
Once again he heard the same thing:
- Jesus is watching you!
The robber looked around the room only to see a parrot. He asked the parrot what its name was.
The parrot replied:
- Cornelius.
The robber said:
- What kind of a name is that?! Who names a parrot that?!
The parrot said:
- The same person who named that rottweiler behind you Jesus!
Guest
Waiters And Gorillas
Why do waiters like Gorillas better than flies?
→ Did you ever hear a customer complain:
- Waiter, there's a Gorilla in my soup!
Guest
Blue Elephants
How do you kill a blue elephant?
→ With a blue elephant gun.
How do you kill a pink elephant?
→ Twist his nose until he turns blue and then use the blue elephant gun.
Guest
Why Birds Fly South
Why do birds fly south for the winter?
→ Because it's too far to walk!
Guest
The Chicken and the Egg
So, the chicken and the egg were in bed, the chicken is sitting up, smoking a cigarette, and says "Well, I guess that answers THAT question!!!"
Guest
Pickled Aardvark
What do you call a pickled aardvark?
→ A jarredvark!