Most viewed jokes

Which fish go to heaven when they die?
→ Angelfish!

An eighty year old couple decide to try for a child. They visit the doctor who asks the old geezer to produce a sperm sample in a bottle. After two weeks, the couple return and the bottle is empty. "What's the problem?" asks the doctor. "Well," says the old man, "First I tried it with my right hand, then my left. Then my wife tried it with her right hand, then her left. Then she tried it with her teeth in and with her teeth out, and we still can't get the lid off the bloody bottle."

Why did the blonde cross the road?
→ I don't know. Neither did she!

How many bikers does it take to change a light bulb?
→ It takes two. One to change the bulb, and the other to kick the switch.

Bill Clinton, Hillary Ramrod Clinton, Al Gore, and Tipper Gore are flying aboard Air Force 1 on their way to visit the Communists to share their success stories about taxing Americans.

- Bill: Why don't I throw this hundred dollar bill out the window and make someone very happy.

- Hillary: Well, why don't you throw ten hundred dollar bills out the window and make ten people happy.

- Al: Why don't you two jump out the window and make me and Tipper happy.

- Tipper: Why don't we all jump out the window and make everybody throughout the United States and world happy.

What's the difference between a worm and an apple?
→ Have you ever tried worm pie?!

The managing partner in an accounting firm is very annoyed with one of his junior partners and has called him in to chastise him.

- How could you possibly advise the client in the way you did? That was completely unethical. We are always conscious of Ethics in this firm.

You do know what Ethics is don't you?

The young partner is offended.

- Of course I know what Ethics is. It's a county in southern England.

Why is it that when you're driving and looking for an address, you turn the radio down?

If a word in a dictionary were misspelled, how would we know?

Do you need a silencer if you are going to shoot a mine?