Most viewed jokes

How does a blonde have safe sex?
→ She locks the car door.

Which ghost sailed the seven seas looking for rubbish and blubber?
→ The ghost of BinBag the Whaler.

With the divorce rate so high in America, a new organization has been formed called "Marriage Anonymous." Whenever a guy feels like getting married, they send over a woman with crulers in her hair, cream on her face and wearing a torn housecoat to nag him out of it.

A young guy in a two-engine fighter was flying escort for a B-52 and generally being a nuisance, acting like a hotdog, flying rolls around the lumbering old bomber.
The hotdog said over the air:

- Anything you can do, I can do better.

The veteran bomber pilot answered:

- Try this hot-shot.

The B-52 continued its flight, straight and level.

Perplexed, the hotdog asked:

- So? What did you do?

- I just shut down two engines, kid.

How do you get the most apples at Halloween?
→ Take a snorkel.

If we are a country committed to free speech, then why do we have phone bills?

What does the aardvark take sailing?
→ An aard ark!

Why did the hamster cross the road?
→ Because it was stuck in the Chicken's ass!

It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere.

Taxiing down the tarmac, the jetliner abruptly stopped, turned around and returned to the gate. After an hour long wait, it finally took off.

A concerned passenger asked the flight attendant:

- What was the problem?

- The pilot was bothered by a noise he heard in the engine - he explained...

- It took us awhile to find a new pilot.