Most viewed jokes

Gross pay: $1222.02
Income Tax 244.40
Outgo Tax 45.21
State Tax 61.10
Interstate Tax 5.89
County Tax 6.11
City Tax 12.22
Rual Tax 4.44
Back Tax 1.11
Front Tax 1.16
Side tax 1.61
Up Tax 2.22
Down Tax 1.11
Knickknack Tax 1.98
Hackensack Tax 3.93
Thumbtax 0.98
Carpet Tax 0.69
Snack Tax 8.32
Surtax 3.46
Ma'am Tax 3.46
Parking Fee 5.00
No Parking Fee 10.00
F.I.C.A. 81.88
T.G.I.F 9.95
Life Ins. 5.85
Health Ins. 16.23
Disability Ins. 2.50
Ability Ins. 0.25
Liability Ins. 3.41
Dental Ins. 4.50
Mental Ins. 4.33
Fundamental Ins. 0.11
Coffee 6.85
Coffee Cups 66.51
Calendar Rental 3.06
Floor Rental 16.85
Chair Rental 4.32
Desk Rental 4.32
Union Dues 5.85
Union Don'ts 3.77
Cash Advances 0.69
Cash Retreats 121.35
Overtime 1.26
Undertime 54.83
Eastern Time 9.00
Central Time 8.00
Mountain Time 7.00
Pacific Time 6.00
Daylight Savings Time 4.44
Time Out 12.21
Oxygen 10.22
Water 16.54
Electricity 38.23
Heat 51.42
Air Conditioning 46.83
Misc. 169.24
Total Take Home Pay = $0000.02

This is where the expression "just my 2 cents" came from.

- Knock Knock

- Who's there?

- Amsterdam!

- Amsterdam who?

- Amsterdam tired of all these Knock Knock jokes!

- Knock Knock

- Who's there?

- Amos!

- Amos who?

- Amosquito just bit me!

- Knock Knock

- Who's there?

- Amy!

- Amy who?

- Amy fraid I've forgotten!

- Knock Knock

- Who's there?

- Annetta!

- Annetta who?

- Annetta wisecrack and you're out of here!

- Knock Knock

- Who's there?

- Annie!

- Annie who?

- Annie one you like!

- Knock Knock

- Who's there?

- Anthem!

- Anthem who?

- You Anthem devil you!

There are three blondes stranded on an island. Suddenly a fairy appears and offers to grant each one of them one wish. The first blonde asks to be intelligent. Instantly, she is turned into brown haired woman and she swims off the island. The next one asks to be even more intelligent than the previous one. So, instantly she is turned into a black haired woman. The black haired woman builds a boat and sails off the island. The third blonde asks to become even more intelligent than the previous two. The fairy turns her into a man, and he walks across the bridge.

What did the baby dolphin do when he didn't get his way?
→ He whale-d

An agriculture student said to a farmer:

- Your methods are too old fashioned. I won't be surprised if this tree will give you less than twenty pounds of apples.

- I won't be surprised either - said the farmer - this is an orange tree.

This woman goes into a dentist's office, after he is through examining her he says: "I am sorry to tell you this, but I am going to have to drill a tooth." The woman then says: "Ooooohhhh, I'd rather have a baby!" To which the dentist replies: "Make up your mind, I have to adjust the chair."

How long will a floating point operation float?

Do vegetarians eat animal crackers?

What do you call a Polish aardvark?
→ A Polaark!

Which football team to you need to connect up your computer?
→ Leeds.