Two blondes realize that their apartment is on fire and go out onto the balcony.
- Help, help! - yells one of the blondes.
- Help us, help us! - yells the other.
- Maybe it would help if we yelled together - said the first blonde.
- Good idea - said the other.
- Together, together!
A blonde and a brunette were taking the elevator to the lobby from the 25th floor. On the 23rd floor, a great looking man with ruffled hair gets into the elevator. The women exchange a look acknowledging just how good looking this man is. The man gets off the elevator on the 12th floor. The women watch him exit the elevator. The brunette turns to the blonde and says, "God was he good looking, but someone ought to give him some head." To which the blonde replies, "How do you give Shoulders?"
What do you call a neurotic octopus?
→ A crazy, mixed-up squid.
How do snails get their shells all shiny?
→ They use snail polish.
What do you get if you cross a zebra with an ape man?
→ Tarzan stripes forever.
Helpful advice for travellers:
If you are going to get on a commercial flight, take a bomb with you.
BECAUSE: What are the odds of TWO guys being on the SAME PLANE at the SAME TIME with a bomb?
What do you call Italian women in a sauna?
→ Gorillas In The Mist!
Two cannibals were having their dinner. One said to the other:
- I don't like your friend.
The other one replied:
- Well put her to one side and just eat the greens.
There is a new Barbie doll on the market -
Joker Barbie ...
Barbie with Joker grin and white face
- Flight 1234, are you ready to copy holding instructions?
- Center, make that request on the next frequency....
