Most viewed jokes

What do a bowling ball and a blonde have in common?
→ Chances are they'll both end up in the gutter.

I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry. That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste. - David Bissonnette
I've been in love with the same woman for forty-one years. If my wife finds out, she'll kill me. - Henry Youngman
It's better to have loved and lost than to do forty pounds of laundry a week. - Laurence J. Peter
If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular? - Unknown
If love is the answer, could you rephrase the question? - Lily Tomlin
Love is the delightful interval between meeting a beautiful girl and discovering that she looks like a haddock. - John Barrymore
Love is an irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired. - Robert Frost
A kiss can be a comma, a question mark or an exclamation point. That's basic spelling that every woman ought to know. - Mistinguette
Absence -- that common cure of love. - Miguel De Cervantes

My kids love going to the Web, and they keep track of their passwords by writing them on Post-it notes. I noticed their Disney password was "MickeyMinnieGoofyPluto," and asked why it was so long.

- Because - my son explained:

- they say it has to have at least four characters.

A blonde reports for his University's final examination that consists of Y/N type questions. He takes his seat in the examination hall, stares at the question paper for five minutes, and then in a fit of inspiration takes his wallet out, removes a coin and starts tossing the coin and marking the answer sheet, Y for Heads and N for Tails. Within half an hour he is all done whereas the rest of the class is sweating it out. During the last few minutes, he is seen desperately throwing the coin, swearing and sweating. The moderator, alarmed, approaches him and asks what is going on.

"I finished the exam in half an hour. But," he says, "I'm not going to finish rechecking my answers!"

- Waiter, there is a maggot in my soup!

- Don't worry sir, he won't last long in there!

- Didn't you tell me the chef here cooked for the late heads of Europe?

- Yes, and that's why they are the late heads of Europe.

What did the emu say to the nurse?
→ Mend her bones or walk the plank

Why was Easter the aardvark's favorite holiday?
→ Because he liked aard-boiled eggs!

What did Bill Gate's wife say to him on their wedding night?
→ No wonder you called the company Microsoft

Did you hear about the 4 Pollocks who froze to death in a drive-in movie???
→ They went to see "Closed For the Winter"!