Guest
Condom And Rattlesnake
What would you do if you had a condum with a hole in it in one pocket, and a rattle snake in the other pocket?
→ I don't know either, but I do know that I wouldn't screw with either one of them.
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Guest
Driver's Licence For Liquor
Why do you need a driver's licence to buy liquor when you can't drink and drive?
Guest
Crossing The Street
Two tampons were crossing the street. They see a friend. Which one waves?
→ Neither, they are both stuck up cunts.
Honeymoon Hotel
A man and his wife go to their honeymoon hotel for their 25th anniversary. As the couple reflected on that magical evening 25 years ago, the wife asked the husband:
- When you first saw my naked body in front of you, what was going through your mind?
The husband replied:
- All I wanted to do was to fuck your brains out, and suck your tits dry.
Then, as the wife undressed, she asked:
- What are you thinking now?
He replied:
- It looks as if I did a pretty good job.
Single Women
Do you know why single women can't fart?
→ Because, they don't get assholes untill they get married.
Guest
Green Stop Sign
Yo mamma so stupid she stopped at a stop sign and waited for it to turn green.
Guest
Yo Mama So Ugly
Yo Momma is so ugly that she scares blind people!!!!
Guest
Men Are Like Mascara
Men are like mascara.
They usually run at the first sign of emotion.
Guest
Ghost At Scotland Yard
Why did the ghost work at Scotland Yard?
→ He was the Chief In-Spectre.
Guest
Shipwrecked With Six Women
A fellow was shipwrecked with six lovely women who in a short time were fighting over his attentions.
They held a meeting to resolve the problem and decided that each would have his services on a different day of the week, with Sundays off for him.
In due time the guy was dragging himself through the week, looking forward to Sunday. As he lay on the beach one day he saw a dot floating on the sea which as it got closer turned out to be a man on a raft. With his last ounce of strength he swam out, pulled the raft ashore, gave the occupant CPR and as he came around said to him; "Oh man, am I ever glad to see you!"
"Goodness gracious, am I ever glad to see you too" said the raft rider in a swishy way.
With a shrug of resignation the guy said... "Oh damn, there goes my Sundays!"