Most viewed jokes

What did the fireman's wife get for Christmas?
→ A ladder in her stocking!

What do you have when only one line dancer comes to your party?
→ A One Liner!

What's the difference between a brunette and the trash?
→ The trash gets taken out once a week!

What do you get if cross a science fiction film with a toad?
→ Star Warts!

A fellow, who had spent his whole life in the desert, comes to visit a friend. He'd never seen a train or the tracks they run on. While standing in the middle of the railroad tracks one day, he hears this whistle -- Whooee da Whoee! -- but doesn't know what it is.

Predictably, he's hit and is thrown to the side of the tracks. It was only a glancing blow, so he was fortunate to receive some minor internal injuries, a few broken bones, and some bruises.

After weeks in the hospital recovering, he's at his friend's house attending a party one evening. While in the kitchen, he suddenly hears the teakettle whistling. He grabs a baseball bat from the nearby closet and proceeds to batter and bash the teakettle into an unrecognizable lump of metal. His friend, hearing the ruckus, rushes into the kitchen, sees what's happened and asks the desert man:

- Why'd you ruin my good tea kettle?

The desert man replies:

- Man, you gotta kill these things when they're small.

Did you here about the new atomic cocktail?
→ one sip & you go out with a poof :0)

A woman reported the disappearance of her husband to the police. The officer looked at the guy's photograph, questioned her, and then asked if she wanted to give her husband any message if they found him.

- Yes, please - she replied.

- Tell him Mother didn't come after all.

The Volunteer Fire Chief in a small town had just been buried. The last words of the service over, his friends and family started toward their cars.

However, they stopped because a strange, eerie sound suddenly was heard from the grave.

As the guests looked around, a colleague of the deceased said:

- Don't worry... it's just the dispatcher toning him out.

How many psychiatrists does it take to change a lightbulb?
→ Just one ... but the lightbulb has to REALLY want to change!

It seems that Ken Starr is dropping all sexual allegations against President Clinton. It all stems from the Paula Jones case. The spokesperson remarked that it would be impossible for a woman with a six inch nose to give a blow job to a person with a three inch dick.