Most viewed jokes

What is a mouse's favorite record?
→ 'Please cheese me'!

Mary went to Jill's place to tell her about a horrible experience she'd had the previous night with this bloke she brought home.

- Well, what happened when you got there? - Jill asked.

- The bastard called me a slut! - Mary said.

- And what did you do then? - Jill asked, shocked.

- I told him to get the fuck out of my bedroom and take his eight mates with him! - Mary said.

Emery fixed himself a Scotch while waiting for Maria to get ready for their date. She came out of the shower wrapped in a bath towel and said:

- I'm sorry I'm late but I was shopping and lost track of time. Would you like to see me in my new dress?

- I would like nothing better. - said Emery.

Little Johnny walked into his dad's bedroom one day only catch him sitting on the side of his bed sliding a condom onto his dick in preparation of fucking his wife. Johnny's father in attempt to hide his full erection with a condom on it bent over as if to look under the bed. Little Johnny asked curiously:

- What ya doin' dad?

His father qiuckly replied:

- I thought I saw a rat go underneath the bed. - to which Little Johnny replied:

- What ya gonna do, fuck him?

Yo Mama so dumb she put lipstick on her fore-head to make up her mind.

What's a toad's favorite ballet?
→ Swamp Lake!

What's an Australian kiss?
→ The same thing as a French kiss, only down under!

A man calls his family doctor:

- Man: Doctor, for the last week my wife has thought that she was a rabbit.

- Doctor: Ok, bring her in and I'll try to help.

- Man: Fine, but whatever you do, don't cure her.

Yo Mama's so fat she sank the Titanic!

Where do frogs keep their treasure?
→ In a croak of gold at the end of the rainbow!