Most viewed jokes

Ever hear of the redneck who thought that "Manual Labor" was the new Mexican President?

Why don't blind people skydive?
→ It scares the heck out of the dog.

Cop coming upon a young couple making out....

- Cop: What the hell are you two doing?

- Boy: We're necking.

- Cop: Well stick your neck back in your pants and get out of here.

The wife of an older man is distraught because her husband's um... little sailor can't salute anymore. She goes to her local doctor and explains the situation and the doctor just feels plain bad for her. The doc thinks for a little bit, turns to the woman and says:

- Listen, I don't do this for everyone, but since your husband's on his way out...

- Get this prescription, and put three drops in his milk before he goes to bed.

The wife is very happy and thanks the doc profusely. Two weeks later, the doctor sees the woman and asks how it went.

The lady blushes, smiles and says:

- Well, I put thirty drops in his milk by accident, and well, we just need an antidote now to close the coffin.

After the first week of sex education class, a young shapely teen stormed out of the room after the class was over. Encountering a female friend in the hall, the friend asked, "Lori, what in the world is the matter with you? You look as if you're about to kill someone." "I am!!!" Lori fumed. "You just wait until I catch up with that Dennis. All summer long, that clown had me convinced that 'foreplay' involved tossing a coin for position."

How many Serbs does it take to change a Lightbulb?
→ It doesn't matter.. Theres a Blackout!

What is a country song played backwards?
→ Your wife gets back with you, your dog comes back to life, your car starts, you get your job back and life is great.

What are spiders webs good for?
→ Spiders!

One neighbor says to the other, "Hey Joe, you have to stop leaving the blinds on your bedroom open, I saw you fucking your wife." Joe responds "The jokes on you, Stan, I was away on a business trip yesterday."

What's the difference between hard and light?
→ You can sleep with a light on.