Most viewed jokes

This day holds a lot of meaning for me. It was on this day two years ago that I lost my dear wife and children.

I'll never forget that game of cards...

3 buddies die in a car crash, they go to heaven to an orientation.

They are all asked:

- When you are in your casket and friends and family are mourning upon you, what would you like to hear them say about you?

The first guy says:

- I would like to hear them say that I was a great doctor of my time, and a great family man.

The second guy says:

- I would like to hear that I was a wonderful husband and school teacher which made a huge difference in our children of tomorrow.

The last guy replies:

- I would like to hear them say......

LOOK, HE'S MOVING!!!!!

A blonde is speaking to her psychiatrist.

- Blonde: I'm on the road a lot, and my clients are complaining that they can never reach me.

- Psychiatrist: Don't you have a phone in your car?

- Blonde: That was a little too expensive, so I did the next best thing. I put a mailbox in my car.

- Psychiatrist: Uh ... How's that working?

- Blonde: Actually, I haven't gotten any letters yet.

- Psychiatrist: And why do you think that is?

- Blonde: I figure it's because when I'm driving around, my zip code keeps changing.

What is a myth?
→ A female moth!

The Yugoslav news agency Tanjug reported that Yugoslavian air defenses had shot down a NATO F-16 just after nightfall while the jet was on a bombing run. The plane crashed into an empty field, creating a huge crater. Serbian search and rescue workers have recovered 307 bodies so far, proving that NATO is using Albanian men, women and children terrorists to wage their war of terror from the sky.

At a dinner party, several of the guests were arguing whether men or women were more trustworthy. "No woman," said one man, scornfully, "can keep a secret." "I don't know about that," huffily answered a woman guest. "I have kept my age a secret since I was twenty-one." "You'll let it out some day," the man insisted. "I hardly think so!" responded the lady. "When a woman has kept a secret for twenty-seven years, she can keep it forever."

AMNESIA: Condition that enables a woman who has gone through labor to have sex again.

Someone determined to be anonymous in Stowe, Vermont:

I was somebody.

Who, is no business of yours.

Why did the Jews wander in the desert for forty years?
→ Somebody dropped a shekel.

Henry Abel's son, David, burst into the house, crying like everything.

His Mama asked him what the problem was.

- Pop and I were fishing, and he hooked a giant fish. Really big. Then, while reeling it in, the line busted and the fish got away.

- Now come on, David - his mother said - a big boy like you shouldn't be crying about an accident like that. You should have laughed.

- That's what I did, Mama.