Most viewed jokes

A woman in the labor ward of the general hospital, legs spread wide, lets out a loud yell and out pops a little black head.

- There was this black guy once - she said to the midwife. Then she screamed again and out pops a yellow body.

- That must be the Chinese guy I slept with - she said. Then one more scream and the baby's white legs were born.

- Ah - that was the husbands bit - she said.

The doctor held up the multicolored baby and gave it a slap, then baby started crying. The woman looked at the doctor & said:

- Thank fuck for that, I thought it was going to bark !!!

Morris was passing a small courtyard and heard voices murmuring.

He went in and saw an altar with a large zero in the middle and a banner that said 'N I L'. White-robed people were kneeling before the altar chanting hymns to The Great Nullity, The Blessed Emptiness, and The Big Zero in the Sky. Morris turned to a white-robed observer beside him and wispered... "Is Nothing Sacred?"

Waxing eloquent on the sins of the flesh, the dynamic young preacher raised himself to full height, leaned over the pulpit and boomed, "Brothers and sisters, if there are any among you who have committed adultery, may your tongue cleave to the woof of your mouf!"

Robinson came home in great excitement and said to his wife:

- You'll never believe it, dear, but I've discovered an entirely new position for lovemaking.

- Really - said Mrs. Robinson, interested at once.

- What is it?

- Back to back.

- But that's crazy. We can't do anything back to back.

- Yes we can. I've persuaded another couple to help out.

The man approached the very beautiful woman in the large supermarket and asked:

- You know, I've lost my wife here in the supermarket. Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?

- Why?

- Because every time I talk to a beautiful woman my wife appears out of nowhere.

If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented?

Two kindergarten girls were talking outside: one said:

- You won't believe what I saw on the patio yesterday--a condom!

The second girl asked:

- What's a patio?

How do you tell if you're making love to a nurse, a schoolteacher, or an airline stewardess?
→ A nurse says: "This won't hurt a bit." A schoolteacher says, "We're going to have to do this over and over again until we get it right." An airline stewardess says, "Just hold this over your mouth and nose, and breathe normally."

New York, NY
Police across the nation are warning people who wear pagers to be on the lookout for the latest scam.

According to police, pagers in several states have been beeped by a number displaying a 212 area code (New York) and the prefix 540. When the victims return the call, they are charged $55 on their phone bill.

The call the respondent makes has been electronically linked into a 900 "pay-per-call" system which allows the charge to be added to the phone bill.

- People will look at the number and say 'Gee, who is calling me from out of state? It must be important,' - said an investigator.

A prominent lawyer's son dreamed of following in his father's footsteps. After graduating from college and law school with honors, he returned home to join his father's firm, intent on proving himself to be a skilled and worthy attorney.

At the end of his first day at work he rushed into his father's office, and said:

- Father, father! The Smith case, that you always said would go on forever -- the one you have been toiling on for ten years -- in one single day, I settled that case and saved the client a fortune!

His father frowned, and scolded his son:

- I did not say that it would go on forever, son. I said that it could go on forever. When you saw me toiling on that case for days and weeks at a time, didn't it ever occur to you that I was billing by the hour?