These are actual sports quotes said by various people throughout the world.
Oiler coach Bum Phillips: When asked by Bob Costas why he takes his wife on all the road trips, Phillips responded:
- Because she is too ugly to kiss goodbye.
New Orleans Saint RB George Rogers when asked about the upcoming season:
- I want to rush for 1,000 or 1,500 yards, whichever comes first.
And, upon hearing Joe Jacoby of the 'Skins say:
- I'd run over my own mother to win the Super Bowl.
Matt Millen of the Raiders said:
- To win, I'd run over Joe's mom too.
Football commentator and former player Joe Theismann 1996:
- Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein.
Senior basketball player at the University of Pittsburgh:
- I'm going to graduate on time, no matter how long it takes.
Bill Peterson, a Florida State football coach:
- You guys line up alphabetically by height. and
- You guys pair up in groups of three, then line up in a circle.
Clemson recruit Ray Forsythe, who was ineligible as a freshman because of academic requirements:
- I play football. I'm not trying to be a professor. The tests don't seem to make sense to me, measuring your brain on stuff I haven't been through in school.
Boxing promoter Dan Duva on Mike Tyson hooking up again with promoter Don King:
- Why would anyone expect him to come out smarter? He went to prison for three years, not Princeton.
Stu Grimson, Chicago Blackhawks left wing, explaining why he keeps a color photo of himself above his locker:
- That's so when I forget how to spell my name, I can still find my fucking clothes.
Shaquille O'Neal on whether he had visited the Parthenon during his visit to Greece:
- I can't really remember the names of the clubs that we went to.
Shaquille O'Neal, on his lack of championships:
- I've won at every level, except college and pro.
Lou Duva, veteran boxing trainer, on the Spartan training regime of heavyweight Andrew Golota:
- He's a guy who gets up at six o'clock in the morning regardless of what time it is.
Pat Williams, Orlando Magic general manager, on his team's 7-27 record:
- We can't win at home. We can't win on the road.. As general manager, I just can't figure out where else to play. (1992)
Chuck Nevitt, North Carolina State basketball player, explaining to Coach Jim Valvano why he appeared nervous at practice:
- My sister's expecting a baby, and I don't know if I'm going to be an uncle or an aunt. (1982)
Tommy Lasorda, Dodger manager, when asked what terms Mexican-born pitching sensation Fernando Valenzuela might settle for in his upcoming contract negotiations:
- He wants Texas back. (1981)
Darrell Royal, Texas football coach, asked if the abnormal number of Longhorn injuries that season resulted from poor physical conditioning:
- One player was lost because he broke his nose. How do you go about getting a nose in condition for football? (1966)
Mike McCormack, coach of the hapless Baltimore Colts after the team's co-captain, offensive guard Robert Pratt, pulled a hamstring running onto the field for the coin toss against St. Louis:
- I'm Going to send the injured reserve players out for the toss next time. (1981)
Steve Spurrier, Florida football coach, telling Gator fans that a fire at Auburn's football dorm had destroyed 20 books:
- But the real tragedy was that 15 hadn't been colored yet. (1991)
Jim Finks, New Orleans Saints G.M., when asked after a loss what he thought of the refs:
- I'm not allowed to comment on lousy officiating. (1986)
Alan Kulwicki, stock car racer, on racing Saturday nights as opposed to Sunday afternoons:
- It's basically the same, just darker. (1991)
Lincoln Kennedy, Oakland Raiders tackle, on his decision not to vote:
- I was going to write myself in, but I was afraid I'd get shot. (1996)
Frank Layden, Utah Jazz president, on a former player:
- I told him, 'Son, what is it with you. Is it ignorance or apathy?' He said, 'Coach, I don't know and I don't care.' (1991)
Torrin Polk, University of Houston receiver, on his coach, John Jenkins:
- He treats us like men. He lets us wear earrings. (1991)
Shelby Metcalf, basketball coach at Texas A&M, recounting what he told a player who received four F's and one D:
- Son, looks to me like you're spending too much time on one subject. (1987)
