Most viewed jokes

A naughty child was irritating all the passengers on the flight from London to New York. At last one man could stand it no longer. "Hey kid," he shouted. "Why don't you go outside and play?"

Mrs Smith, the biology teacher, was very fond of fish. She was also rather deaf, which was great for the children in her class.

- What Mrs Smith needs - said one of her colleagues:

- is a herring-aid.

What do you get from a short-legged cow?
→ Dragon milk!

What do cows wear when they're vacationing in Hawaii?
→ Moo moos

How do sheep greet each other at Christmas?
→ A merry Christmas to ewe

- Father Christmas: What's your favourite Christmas story?

- Elf: The one about the ghost that steals porridge!

- Father Christmas: You mean 'Ghoul-di-locks'!

Why did Clinton choose Canada as the site for his summit with Yeltsin?
→ So he could look up some college buddies who moved up there during the war.

What did the ghosts say to Santa Claus?
→ We'll have a boo Christmas without you.

What does Father Christmas call his money?
→ Iced lolly?

What's Christmas called in England?
→ Yule Britannia!