Most viewed jokes

What do you get from a short-legged cow?
→ Dragon milk!

Why is Chelsea Clinton growing up a confused child?
→ Because dad can't keep his pants on and mom wants to wear them.

What does Bill Clinton have in common with former great Presidents?
→ Absolutely nothing.

Why is a cat on a beach like Christmas?
→ Because they both have "Sandy claws"!

A business man called and had a question about the documents he needed in order to fly to China. After a lengthy discussion about passports, I reminded him he needed a visa. "Oh no I don't, I've been to China many times and never had to have one of those."

I double checked, and sure enough, his stay required a visa. When I told him this he said, "Look, I've been to China four times and every time they have accepted my American Express."

What was so good about he neurotic doll the girl was given for Christmas?
→ It was wound up already.

Last year's Christmas pudding was so awful I threw it in the ocean.
That's probably why the ocean's full of currants!

- Mum: How can you practice your trumpet and listen to the radio at the same time?

- Son: Easy. I have two ears!

A naughty child was irritating all the passengers on the flight from London to New York. At last one man could stand it no longer. "Hey kid," he shouted. "Why don't you go outside and play?"

When asked for her occupation, a woman charged with a traffic violation said she was a schoolteacher. The judge rose from the bench. "Madam, I have waited years for a schoolteacher to appear before this court," he smiled with delight. "Now sit down at that table and write 'I will not pass through a red light' five hundred times."