Most viewed jokes

When did Clinton's friends become sure that he had political ambitions?
→ When he married outside of his family.

- Father Christmas: What's your favourite Christmas story?

- Elf: The one about the ghost that steals porridge!

- Father Christmas: You mean 'Ghoul-di-locks'!

- Mum: How can you practice your trumpet and listen to the radio at the same time?

- Son: Easy. I have two ears!

A naughty child was irritating all the passengers on the flight from London to New York. At last one man could stand it no longer. "Hey kid," he shouted. "Why don't you go outside and play?"

How long does it take to burn a candle down?
→ About a wick!

I wouldn't say that Christmas gnomes are cross-eyed, but when they cry the tears run down their back!

Why are Father Christmas' reindeer like a cricket match?
→ Because they're both stopped by the rein.

Why did Bill and Hillary send Chelsea to a private school?
→ If they sent her to a public school, the secret service would be out-gunned!

What is the difference between the Christmas alphabet and the ordinary alphabet?
→ The Christmas alphabet has NO EL.

How to cats greet each other at Christmas?
→ "A furry merry Christmas & Happy mew year"!