Most viewed jokes

What do Clinton and JFK have in common?
→ They haven't had any brains for the last thirty years.

I wouldn't say Christmas gnomes are small.
But they used to be lumberjacks on a mushroom farm!

Two college basketball players were taking an important final exam. If they failed, they would be on academic probation and not allowed to play in the big game the following week. The exam was fill-in-the-blank.

The last question read:

- Old MacDonald had a ________.

Bubba was stumped. He had no idea what to answer. But he knew he needed to get this one right to be sure he passed.

Making sure the professor wasn't watching, he tapped Tiny on the shoulder.

- Pssst. Tiny. What's the answer to the last question?

Tiny laughed. He looked around to make sure the professor hadn't noticed then he turned to Bubba.

- Bubba, you're so stupid. Everyone knows Old MacDonald had a FARM.

- Oh yeah - said Bubba.

- I remember now.

He picked up his No. 2 pencil and started to write the answer in the blank. He stopped. Tapping Tiny's shoulder again, he whispered:

- Tiny, how do you spell farm?

- You are really dumb, Bubba. That's so easy. Farm is spelled E-I-E-I-O.

What is the first thing that President Clinton says after waking up?
→ Good morning, Bill.

What kind of neckwear does Hillary Clinton look best in?
→ A noose.

Why does the secret service guard Hillary so closely?
→ Because if something happens to her, Bill becomes President!

What is another way to describe a cat?
→ A heat seeking missile!

How did Bill and Hillary Clinton meet?
→ They were dating the same girl in high school.

Why is Christmas just like a day at the office?
→ You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit.

- Father Christmas: I thought I asked you to go out there and clear the snow!

- I'm on my way, Father Christmas.

- Father Christmas: But you only have one welly on!

- That's all right! There's only one foot of snow!