Most viewed jokes

Why is Bill Clinton diverting federal funds from improving schools to improving jails?
→ Because when his term is through, he won't be going to school.

- Father Christmas: All right, my good lady, my face is my ticket.

- Box office attendant: Then you'd better watch out... there's a feller inside who has the job of punching the tickets.

How do you make a slow reindeer fast?
→ Don't feed it!

What did the big cracker say to the little cracker?
→ My pop is bigger than yours!

What's Father Christmas called when he takes a rest while delivering presents?
→ Santa pause!

After the baby was baptized, her four-year-old brother was crying inconsolably in the back seat of the car.
"What's the matter Johnny?" asked his concerned mother.
Johnny replied: "that man said that he hoped our baby would be raised in a good Christian home...

I just want her to stay with you guys."

What reindeer can jump higher than a house?
→ They all can! Houses can't jump!

Who is never hungry at Christmas?
→ The turkey - he's always stuffed!

What happens to you at Christmas?
→ Yule be happy!

- Father: What did you learn in school today?

- Son: That three and three are seven.

- Father: Three and three are six!

- Son: I guess I didn't learn anything today then!