Most viewed jokes

- Father Christmas: All right, my good lady, my face is my ticket.

- Box office attendant: Then you'd better watch out... there's a feller inside who has the job of punching the tickets.

How many chimney does Father Christmas go down?
→ Stacks!

Father Christmas win a saucepan in a competition.
Now thats what you call pot luck!

Dick and Jane were arguing furiously over the breakfast table. 'Oh you're so stupid!' shouted Dick.

'Dick!' said their father, 'that's quite enough of that! Now say you're sorry.'

'OK,' said Dick. 'Jane, I'm sorry you're stupid.'

Why did the farmer fence in the bull?
→ The farmer had too much of a steak in him to let him go!

Why were there two presidential limousines in the inaugural parade?
→ The first one held the real president while the second one contained the president's spouse, Bill Clinton.

How can you tell when Clinton is ready for battle [in Bosnia]?
→ He's got his jogging suit on.

Someone bought Scrooge a clock for Christmas. He put it straight in the bank.
Why did he do that?
→ He was trying to save time!

What's Father Christmas called when he takes a rest while delivering presents?
→ Santa pause!

Can I have a broken drum for Christmas?
→ The best thing you could have asked for. You can't beat it!