Most viewed jokes

What is a black cat's favourite TV show?
→ Miami Mice!

What do you call a cat who eats lemons?
→ A sourpuss!

Aching Joints by Arthur Itis

A clerk was showing a lady a very nice dress shirt and tie.

"Now this," the clerk said, "is absolutely elegant. It is perfect for a man-about-town."

"Could be," the woman replied, "but I'm looking more for something for a louse-around-the-house."

How did the farmer find his lost cow?
→ He tractor down

After the college boy delivered the pizza to Bud's trailer house, Bud asked, "What is the usual tip?"

"Well," replied the youth, "this is my first trip here, but the other guys say if I get a quarter out of you, I'll be doing great."

"Is that so?" snorted Bud. "Well, just to show them how wrong they are, here's five dollars."

"Thanks," replied the youth, "I'll put this in my school fund."

"What are you studying?" asked Bud.

The lad smiled and said, "Applied psychology."

What is the second stupidest thing in the world?
→ An Arkansas architectural student out in the middle of the ocean trying to build a foundation for a house.

What is the stupidest thing in the world?
→ An Arkansas contractor trying to build a house on the foundation.

What's the difference between Bill Clinton and Joseph Stalin?
→ Some of Stalin's subjects admired him.

Little Johnny's class were on an outing to their local police station where they saw pictures, of the ten most wanted men, tacked to a bulletin board. On the way out of the police station Little Johnny said to the officer, "it was so nice of you to put my daddy's picture up there."

How do you know if your cat has eaten a duckling?
→ She's got that down in the mouth look!