Most viewed jokes

Why does a dinosaur have cracks between his toes?
→ To carry his library card.

What was the parrot doing in prison?
→ It was a jail-bird!

Several years ago, Andy was sentenced to prison. During his stay, he got along well with the guards and all his fellow inmates. The warden saw that deep down, Andy was a good person and made arrangements for Andy to learn a trade while doing his time. After three years, Andy was recognized as one of the best carpenters in the local area. Often he would be given a weekend pass to do odd jobs for the citizens of the community.... and he always reported back to prison before Sunday night was over.

The warden was thinking of remodeling his kitchen and in fact had done much of the work himself. But he lacked the skills to build a set of kitchen cupboards and a large counter top, which he had promised his wife. So he called Andy into his office and asked him to complete the job for him.

But, alas, Andy refused. He told the warden, "Gosh, I'd really like to help you but counter fitting is what got me into prison in the first place."

What's a moo hoo for grazing school?
→ Grass class!

What is the most important use for cowhide?
→ To hold the cow together.

Why did Bill Clinton cross the road?
→ To meet the chick.

What do cats read in the morning?
→ Mewspapers!

Why did the electrician close early on Mondays?
→ Because business was very light.

What would you get if you crossed a monster with the god of love?
→ A stupid Cupid!

Why did the T-Rex eat hamburgers?
→ Because he is a meat eater!